10 Things NOT to say to your pregnant wife

Since Shauna and I found out we're having a little girl (in June, her name is Lucy), I have learned a lot. Many things I have learned through simple straight out dumbness. Here is some of my empirical wisdom regarding words and my pregnant wife, and for the record, she helped me with this. Now, I have not necessarily said all of these things...

Things NOT to say to your pregnant wife:

1. Are you laughing or crying? Or both? (it was both, at the same time, fyi)
   
2. Hey Big Mamma!
3. Why are you __________ ? (insert anything: this question is bad because you are searching for a logical reason for an action: you will not understand, so don't ask)
4. I think the kid will need a break from us, ya know, to help it develop. So why don't we go ahead and schedule a vacation in Cancun?
   
5. Ya know, my mom said she had no pain with me when she was pregnant.
6. I forgot.
   
7. I hope the kid isn't color blind.
   
8. Don't you "girl up" our child (granted, this was first said when I thought we may have a boy)
   
9. How about some Chinese food? (this question is bad because I still ask it after I have been told that Chinese food has now become nauseating; couple with #6 for optimum dumbness)
10. Have you ever watched yourself brush your teeth? It's so funny! (I then proceeded to impersonate her...)