From the mouths of babes...(or 20somethings)

A few years ago, I was being interviewed by the job search team at ALC, and they asked me about my "philosophy of ministry" (or, more simply, what do I believe the church is supposed to be...). I answered the question with a story. I think I said something like, "Well, I'm not sure how to answer that, so I'll just tell a story." Little did I realize, at the time, how connected my answer would be to the mission of ALC (sincere acceptance...being both an invitation and a challenge; to introduce people to God's grace and love).

A few weeks ago, I led a teaching on difficult relationships, and I told the same story, and it again reminded me of this beautiful mission our church has accepted. So, I figured I would put the story to words...I think it is a good story, and I may write more on it in the future. Before I begin, I must tell you that I am changing the names of the people in the story. The people are real, but, I'm going to respect their privacy. The dialogue is also my creation; it isn't verbatim or anything like that. I am telling this story as I remember it being told to me by my friend who experienced it first person. So, here goes...

About seven years ago, a buddy of mine (aforementioned), Mark, worked for a popular coffee shop. Now, there's some things you have to know about Mark: he was about 20yrs. old, he had no boundaries when it comes to personal space (an avid "hugger"), and he got along with everyone. He could best be likened to a goofy Chris Farley character, sans about 80 pounds. No one I knew disliked Mark. He could make friends easier than most people I had ever met.

Mark worked with, predominantly, "churched" people (meaning, most of the employees went to church). They all had the same supervisor, Justin. Justin is openly gay. There was a constant tension among the "churched" employees when they were around Justin. Justin was pretty much ignored, avoided, and left out of conversation, party invitations, etc. It was obvious the environment had taken on a certain "high school hierarchy." Justin never brought attention to it.

Justin couldn't really address it. See, they all worked for a place that discouraged talk around religion, political preferences, and lifestyle. The coffee shop wanted to create a sense of safety for everyone by restricting personal interaction around tense issues. So, the culture just defaulted to an unspoken majority. Mark never really went with the crowd, though...he pretty much created his own crowd. Mark was the exception. Mark grew up in church, but he always treated Justin the same...gave him big ol' hugs, joked around with him, invited him to parties...

One afternoon, Justin asked Mark to take out the garbage with him (and, if you have worked in the food industry, you know what a disgusting and time consuming job that can be). Mark helped him out. While they were outside breaking down boxes and discarding the once precious treasures of the public, Justin looked at Mark and said, "Mark, I don't get you. I know you grew up in church like most of the other people here, but you don't treat me like they do. They avoid me like I'm going to infect them with a disease. I know they can't stand me, and I know it's because I'm gay. We're not supposed to talk about this stuff at work, but I have to know...what's your deal?"

Mark stood there confused, and he clumsily answered: "I guess I just loves ya, man!" (That's right, he said loves ya... I do remember that being verbatim), and with that, Mark gave Justin a ridiculously boundary crossing bear hug. Justin, realizing the laziness of Mark's answer persisted: "No, no. You are different from them. I don't understand that. Does your church just teach from a gay theology? Are they open to that? Why do you act so much differently than all the other 'Christians' I have ever met?"

Mark retreated, and didn't really know how to respond. Justin pressed the issue: "You treat me with more respect than anyone else here. Why?"

And, in a moment of brilliance, Mark stammered: "Dude, I really love you. Not like in a romantic way, but like the way we're supposed to love each other as human beings. And I love those jerks that we work with, too. See, I don't love you because of who you are, I love you because of who I am." And with that sentence, a goofy 20 year old defined ministry.

End scene.

That story is perfect, in my opinion. As followers of Jesus, we are to love because of who we are: rescued, broken, loved by God. We are to share that. It's not our job to judge people (and don't go getting all self righteous and judgmental yourself as you read that, either...it really isn't your job to judge people); that's God's job. It's not our job to save people; that's what Jesus came and did. It's also not our job to convict people; that would be the job of the Holy Spirit (and conviction only happens after a judgment...). Hear what I am saying, here: It is our job, as followers of Jesus, to love. It's more than a job, really...it's our habit...we really can't help but do that when we encounter the love of God ourselves. Now, there is a good place for accountability and leadership and quality control and all that stuff...but, never are any of these things to be placed before LOVE. "And the greatest of these, is love."

I am truly sick and tired of being the type of Jesus follower who judges before I love, convicts before I pray, and ignores before I invite. I am also jaded and need help with my contempt of those I judge who do these things. Lord, help me live out sincere acceptance, and help me do this holistically.

That's why I think ministry is to exist. Thoughts?

Update: Boundaries and Gratitude

Last year, I blogged about a new boundary I had set for myself. The boundary, which I formed after listening to a teaching by Craig Groeschel, had to do with making my evenings sacred. I was determined that when my daughter was born, she would have a daddy in the evenings. Well, she has been born (and she is awesome), and I played with her on the floor for over an hour last night (which was awesome).

Well, I'm a little over a year into it, and I am pleased to let you know I have done a pretty good job at keeping this boundary. I keep a sharp eye on my calendar, and I rarely have more than one meeting during the evenings each week. I have found that when I control my schedule, instead of the other way around, I get more accomplished (and am less likely to go AWOL).

Enter new challenges: I have recently been given more responsibility at work (which is a good thing, right?). This has forced me to evaluate my time even further. So, back in December, I read Making Ideas Happen. This book transformed the way I set my calendar, organize my files, and prioritize my life...yes, my life. I am even tracking my hours to stay focused each week (I work hard to limit myself to a 50-55 hour workweek). I highly recommend this book if you find yourself banging your head against the wall as you try and fit everything into 24 hours. Lord knows, that is one reason I picked up the book in the first place. We must plan to be successful with our responsibilities. If we just react to the world around us, we'll go nuts.

I am about five weeks into this new challenge of added vocational responsibility, and no one has called for my head (yet...it will happen, I am sure...that's part of leading others). Hopefully, 2012 will roll around (if the world doesn't end first) and I will have another positive update. Accountability is rare...who holds you accountable?