Red Letters: You Can't Be My Disciple If You Go To Your Dad's Funeral

We all have our picture of Christ. The culture loves Jesus a lot more than the “church.” If this passage gets widely read, then everyone’s picture of Jesus may be in jeopardy.

Matthew 8:19-22 (NIV)
19Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go."
20Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."
21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."
22But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."

When do you have the most routine? Is it in the mornings? Bedtime? Meals? My biggest routine is going from sleep to fully dressed and ready for the day.
But then we have things that mess up our routines. For instance, a couple weeks ago my dad was rushed to the ER – had that happened before or during my normal routine – I would have thrown on whatever clothes I could quickly find and get to the hospital – the emergency takes precedence over normal life.

In the same idea, the Jewish culture, even today, has a very strict and important prayer and life routine. Daily prayers and rituals were commanded – along with the Ten Commandments. But when a relative dies, all routines were exempt. Listen to this from the Talmud – a Jewish rule book:
“He who is confronted by a dead relative is freed from reciting the Shema, from the Eighteen Benedictions, and from all the commandments stated in the Torah.”

The exception: it’s clear – this culture took the death of a relative very seriously. You could even touch a dead relative. Death was a serious process:
1. Prepare and cleanse the body
2. Place in a tomb for one year
3. Put bones in an ossuary
4. Bury w/ceremony
One full year for mourning.

This is very serious – very emotional – very intense.

There are a lot of theories on what this guy meant in verse 21.
21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."
- My dad is near death – I have to take care of him.
- My dad just died and we have to bury him.
- My dad’s bones aren’t ready for the ceremony.

And Jesus, being so compassionate and empathetic, says – you can’t do that if you follow me.
What a jerk. Jesus – he wants to follow you, can’t you just let him grieve? I mean, even the strict Pharisees gives an exception for that. Jesus, you really seem to be asking to much here. It’s almost like you are saying that following you is more important than the love for his family. Jesus, why not be understanding here? Honor your father and mother – remember that?

What Jesus said rang very loud to everyone there verse 22 .
22But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
- The Scribes and Pharisees heard Jesus say that he was more important then the exception to the rule – superior to the Talmud
- The people heard that following Jesus was a commitment so serious that their relationships and family took 2nd place.
- And we hear a lack of compassion.

Ya know, following Christ is a commitment that is serious. And we, too many times, put this commitment on the same playing field with work, school, vacation and XBOX.
Think about it. This story can happen, is happening all around us. Jesus, I’ll follow you, but -
- I need this bf/gf right now.
- I can’t commit to giving money right now to your Kingdom – the poor, the needy.
- I can’t forgive you because of the pain I am going through.
- I have to bury my past first
- I have to break this addiction first.
- I have to finish college first.

Jesus communicated the immediate importance of following him – the Kingdom and your spirituality is now. Whatever else you may be thinking, the spiritual life comes first – or it dies like that guy’s father.

This calls for wise thinking. The call for moral code and honor is godly – living a life and putting to death our sinful nature is of God. But the supremacy of Christ may just demand your loyalty over a relationship or desire that is (in itself) not a bad/sin thing.
This is a call of balancing responsibility here on earth (school, work, family) with God. Jesus consistently makes a point that no commitment should be superior to our commitment to him.

Matthew 10:37-39 (NIV)
37Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Luke 14:25-26 (NIV)
25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.

How is the balance going in your life? What seems to challenge your commitment to Him?

i love this woman...and it really has been 2 months since i blogged (well, almost)

...since i have blogged. so much has happened: memorial day, london, kenya, larry (the parasite), july 4, work...so much.

i wish i could have had internet access in kenya, but my macbook went kaput. that is another blog in itself that i will probably never get to...it is almost as entertaining as my starbucks experience with the religious conservative whackos...but not quite.

kenya was an experience shauna and i will never forget...her picture says it best...she exudes the type of energy and excitement for Kingdom stuff that i wish i could communicate...look at that face...pure bliss

anywho, i am off to florida this week to see the police and visit some friends and college ministries. my friend, allen, is going with and i think we'll have a lot of fun.

one last thing before i end this: some people spend their whole lives wondering what God has called them to do...the rest do something with their lives and look back with a tear of shock and relief. i dont know why, but i am getting sick of hearing talk. participation seems to be much more KINGDOM. just my thought...my random, totally in the moment thought...

busyness

I believe every person in our society is busy – myself included. Final exams and the end of the semester is here for you college students. For those of us that work – it is nonstop – and then, there are those working full time and in school – people are getting married, vacation and summer time is around the corner… Then you have daily grind stuff to worry about – waking up early, paying bills (car, insurance, car insurance, gas, new tires and these are only for your used car! Then you have to spend time in your relationships – romance (dates, notes, “talk” time), friends (dates, notes, “talk” times) and in the hustle and hustle of all this, you now have people at Underground and churches telling you to pray and go camping and feed the homeless and go on a missions trip to work harder… and God is thrown into all of this somehow.

I think we all understand this journey well – it’s full of busy schedules and time commitments and we want to do it all but we can’t. So what usually suffers? First, for me, is sleep. That doesn’t exactly help except that I get the immediate things done – but my plate stays full, right? The second thing to suffer is usually any personal time – with God, for me, “chill” time – Sabbath time. Why is it that when rest and God and personal time is needed most we sacrifice it – not a good sacrifice – like a 300 style killing – we murder these things. My friend, Doug, has this scale he uses to define worry. I’ve taken it and changed it a bit:

Outside circle effects us now

More short term – not the most important
Inner (closet) circle effects us long term close to us




What do you allow closet to your “center”? – the things we spend the most time on will effect us the most.
There is a book written by John called Revelation. He basically journals a hallucination – he had a metaphysical experience with God. In the first few chapters, he writes letters to different churches and warns them – well, all but one church gets a warning. In Revelation 3, he writes to a church in Sardis:

Revelation 3:1-4 (MSG)

1 Write this to Sardis, to the Angel of the church. The One holding the Seven Spirits of God in one hand, a firm grip on the Seven Stars with the other, speaks: "I see right through your work. You have a reputation for vigor and zest, but you're dead, stone-dead.
2-3"Up on your feet! Take a deep breath! Maybe there's life in you yet. But I wouldn't know it by looking at your busywork; nothing of God's work has been completed. Your condition is desperate. Think of the gift you once had in your hands, the Message you heard with your ears—grasp it again and turn back to God.
"If you pull the covers back over your head and sleep on, oblivious to God, I'll return when you least expect it, break into your life like a thief in the night.
4"You still have a few followers of Jesus in Sardis who haven't ruined themselves wallowing in the muck of the world's ways. They'll walk with me on parade! They've proved their worth!
The city of Sardis was a massive and important economic city those times:
- busy people – workers, CEO’s and students
- largest recovered gymnasium – big on sports
- huge textile city (wool)
- largest recovered religious buildings (Pagan, Christian & Jewish)
Sardis was pretty much a world economic, entertainment, spiritual and social dominant culture – it is where you went to learn, sell, buy, go to church, watch a game, get fit, etc. – Sounds like the US a bit – but look at the verse again – “you look alive but you are dead” ???
Two key words here:
God: “I see your deeds, ergon (passive tense) in Greek language - tasks, work, deeds, activities
God: “wake up” – gregoreo in Greek language – keep watch – be on guard
Problem #1: The deeds masked death
- they looked alive – but were dying
- they had more monuments to the past then hope and expectancy for the future – they buried more people in their church then they baptized
- their busyness masked – covered up – their problem – no real transforming power or life in Christ
Problem #2: They were asleep – unaware
- they thought everything was ok
- they keep busy – therefore, they developed a need to validate their problem by never seeing what was actually there – stayed so busy that they never got quiet
It’s so hard to get quiet isn’t it? One minute of silence – uncomfortable – we have to face our demons if we slow down. So this church in Sardis – what is their hope? What is the remedy here? What can they do? What can we do?
I believe there are many of us who get too busy that we become like this church – oh sure, we have lives and school and work – but where do we put our faith in all of this? When do we compromise that?
I believe the hope is found in the church – not a building (explain church)
Acts 2:42 (TNIV)
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Teaching – submit to learning and teaching
Eating – being with each other – hanging out – meals – time
Fellowship – koinonia – share, serve, contribute, participate
Prayer – personal and with others – talking and hearing from God
I believe we (as a church culture) struggle to live out true fellowship – then prayer – then teaching – then eating.
Has busyness choked the spiritual life out of you?
What areas are you good at?
What areas are a challenge?
Busyness is used by the enemy to distract our life with Christ – which is lived out in community – prayer

The most disturbing site for me in quite a while…

The most disturbed I have been in a while is when I was in Manchester. Now don’t get me wrong, the city itself is not disturbing; it is a quite beautiful city. Elegant historical architecture and diverse people add to the beauty of this city. The people are, in general, very kind and accommodating to travelers and folks not familiar with the city’s liturgy. Getting around in the city is quite easy, with the trams and everything in walking distance (you can walk around the city’s outskirts in about an hour). The shops and restaurants leave nothing to be desired; in fact, I actually enjoyed going to all the shops I could manage (surprising because I am not a shopper most of the time). In the Arndale section, there was a fashion show, and throughout the entire city, the celebration of King George’s Day offered parades, children’s games, and cultural festivities. Truthfully, Manchester, in and of itself, is a delight.

Let me construct the foundation to my first statement. On Saturday, I went to “The Printworks”: a grand structure in “Center City” that houses bars, nightclubs, cinema, restaurants, and shops. “The Printworks” looks like a huge subway (or tube) tunnel with a weathered brick look throughout. There is no door, simply a massive entrance to the tunnel and all the interior entertainment offered throughout. It is here that I went to see 300 at IMAX. It was a wonderful experience and the movie was done very well. An eight story screen in Hi-Definition and superior sound to boot, it was quite the show. After I exited, I walked out of “The Printworks” and into the city block overlooking the Manchester Cathedral district. I noticed a Starbucks and went to get a familiar latte. On a side note, the Starbucks stores in the UK charge extra if you “dine in” rather than “take away” your beverage. I decided to take my beverage with me (not because I am necessarily cheap; it was only a few pence extra, but because I wanted to walk to the cathedral and check it out).

As I left Starbucks, I started to visually define the cathedral district better as I walked toward it. It opened with a massive green lawn with fountains and elegant landscaping and cobblestone walking paths. This led the way to a massive gothic style cathedral complete with huge gargoyles on the ground around and atop the structure. It was a classic cross layout cathedral (for you church history buffs). There was a cemetery and crypts that guarded the cathedral’s immediate grounds. I would estimate 400+ crypts and 300+ gravestones. There was also an iron fence around the perimeter of the structure. It didn’t have gates; it was merely for décor and boundary definition. It, like the city, was an impressive and beautiful structure.

The cathedral is a part of the Church of England, of which the queen, herself, is the head. It symbolizes not only the distinct importance of church and state collaboration, but also that faith is central (in location and philosophy) to the local, regional, and national political environment. This should be quite encouraging, especially to the Christian; but also to other faiths, because of the freedom the UK experiences in its diversity. Just because the government is centralized in a Protestant (debatable) mindset, that doesn’t mean that the people of the UK are forced into the same mindset. It is simply the definition of a set of religious values and tradition.

The scene outside the cathedral was my issue. Over the massive lawn, on the structure herself, and throughout the cemetery there were thousands of teenagers (12-15 years old) gathered. These teenagers were dressed in black with body art and piercing. They were making a definite affectionate fashion statement for the “gothic” or “hardcore” lifestyle. The teens were not just gathered there for any reason; every single one of them were engaging in sexual activity (mostly clothed) with one another in some form. Couples straddled each other and were groping and kissing, groups of three and four were lying on the grass and engaging in group pleasures, and homosexual activity was the majority.

The scene itself was very uncomfortable for to walk up on. Remember, I was going to see history and admire the cathedral, and I walked into a “twilight zone” of child lust. I was a bit intimidated and felt unsafe. I stood there in front of the cathedral and came back to reality in my mind, for I am sure I stood there motionless for a few seconds in shock. The teens were acting out something there on the church grounds. This was an unmistakable statement coupled with a cry for connection that broke my heart. I don’t know the reason for their choice, but my speculations tell me that there is an obvious desire for human connection and intimacy. Like Rob Bell says, “this” (meaning what I am seeing take place here) is obviously about “that” (some deeper need).

But that wasn’t the most disturbing site for me. It seems that it should be, but it wasn’t. The most disturbing site for me was the thousands of people (adults, other teens, children, elderly, businessmen, mothers, fathers, pastors, Christians, Muslims, Taoists, caretakers, babysitters, wage employees, upper class, cab drivers, etc.) walking past these teenagers and paying no attention. It was like just another mundane site in the local eye. This broke my heart.

I decided that this had to be a unique experience for the city. These teens cannot be allowed to do this daily. After all, this is “Center City”, a Times Square atmosphere and these teens cannot possibly live close to here. I decided to come back the next day and see the cathedral again, for this site (the teens) was obviously unique to Saturday or some other instance.

I came back on Sunday. There were more. More child lust existed. More homosexual group activity existed. My heart broke again. People walked by again. The sky over Manchester Cathedral cried. I decided to ask a barista at the corner Starbucks if this happened every weekend. She giggled a bit and said “no.” I was momentarily relieved. She continued: “these kids go there before they have to be at school everyday and they return after school everyday. In fact, a group of them seem to never leave.” My relief was buried with her words.

So here’s what I see: I see this experience taking place at the footsteps of religion, government, and society; and no one pays attention anymore. It is as if society has developed scales over her eyes. The statements being made by these teenagers are being made on the physical doorsteps of the physical church, and the doors remain closed, and the community remains aloof.

Then I turn and think about my city in the US. What is obvious? Who is crying for help, even to the point of sitting and making out at the church footsteps? It happens all the time. The church is defined as a living entity, as a body of believers. When Paul prayed for the church in Ephesus, he wasn’t praying for a building but a people. When Jesus talked about Peter being the foundation of the church, he was speaking socially and ecclesial, not physical foundation for a structure or system. We, the church, have people at our doorsteps everyday and our hearts are aloof. We walk by them, we ignore them, and they intimidate us. My prayer and hope is that we become more aware of our doorsteps, that we become more sensitive to our entrance, and that we pay attention to those crying for help all around us. We are the church, we are the community of Christ; we are the agents of life change God has chosen to deploy. Awareness cannot be a reality if we have scales over our eyes. Oh God, remove the scales and break our hearts, I pray. May we love with our love, and respond to people who cry out, even if it is done in their disdain for you, for us, and for society at large. For the things we see are not what lies beneath the surface.

travelling diary: day six (i spent money)

Last posting was way long so I’ll keep this short. Today I went to King’s Church in Manchester. It is a cool church and very racially diverse. They baptized two people today, also. After church, I went to Pizza Hut and had a pie. It was good. I then went shopping and spent the next 4-5 hours walking the streets and buying stuff. It was pretty fun.

I caught the train back to the hotel and took a nap after calling Shauna. I went to the Brasserie around 8pm and got some dinner, a good Indian dish. I am now back after watching football (soccer) on the big screen and am packing. My flight for Philadelphia leaves at 11am tomorrow (6am US time).

Barring anything hilarious or weird, this may be my last post on my travels. It has been a fun journey and a more different one than I thought. I really really really really cant wait to see Shauna, my wife. I love her so much.

travelling diary: day five (i love US food)

I woke up at 6am. Like fully woke up. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t sleep anymore. I went to bed around 1am (or 1:00). My taxi wasn’t supposed to pick me up until 1130am (or 11:30) so now I have like 5 hours to kill. The campus is a ghost town (Saturday) and I have a closet space for a room and five hours. OH MY GOD. So I put in The Office (BBC version) and tried to doze a bit to kill time. I was originally planning on waking up around 10am, but for whatever reason, it didn’t happen. So I watched the dvd and read some and dozed some and then it was 9am (or 9:00) and I went to the kitchen to have my “Frosties” (the other day I wrote about “Tasties” and compared them Frosted Flakes…I was incorrect on the name, they are “Frosties”, but regardless, they are quite tasty). I made a cup of tea (which I have become pretty decent at doing and really enjoy is as well) and read the morning paper over my breakfast. I then took and shower and packed and it was 10:15 after all of that. I still had an hour and some change to kill. So I read. And really enjoyed it. I am reading a Dallas Willard book called Hearing God. It is more practical than The Divine Conspiracy or Spirit of the Disicplines (those two are quite philosophical).

At 11:30 I rolled my bags down to the driveway and waited. And waited. And waited. And it was 11:50. Now, it is a good 20 minute commute to the train station in Retford, and my train (the only train going through Retford until 2pm, or 14:00) arrive at 12:03. So I am worried. I had the receptionist call and book my taxi; I heard her do it. So I am frustrated and about to walk to the pub around the corner and see if Steve (the pub owner and nice guy I have had several conversations with over the past three days) could give me a ride to the station for about 20quid (or 20 pounds, which translates to $40; of course, I will start at 10 quid, or $20). All of the sudden I see a white taxi speed around the corner and pull into the school…brief relief. We still have to get to the station by noon for me to catch the train.

The taxi driver’s name is Kearney. She is in her mid forties and has been in the sun a lot during life. I let her know she is late and that I have to catch the train at noon. She gives me a look and were off. She got to 150kmh. Google that and see how fast she was truckin’ on the English countryside road. We made it in time, and with little to no small talk. I hurried through the station and down the ramp to Platform 3 (which is like a .10 mile walk down 5 ramps) and barely got on my train in time. The taxi cost me 10quid.

For the next two hours, I rode the train back to Manchester. I dozed off and read some. The only time it was crowded was right before the train change in Sheffield. Google Sheffield and Manchester; they are cool towns. We finally arrived in Manchester (airport terminal) and I went up the ramp to find my hotel. I didn’t know it at the time, but the hotel provides a free shuttle and a courtesy phone. I asked a taxi driver how far away it was, and he pointed left and said, “2-minute walk, tops.” That wasn’t so bad, so I decided to walk it with my luggage. 23 minutes into the walk, I realize I have been “wound up” (British term for I got lied to and it was a practical joke, probably). I decided to turn around and go back to the train station, when I saw a wonderful but disheartening site. The Bewleys Hotel (bewleyshotels.com) was in the skyline in the opposite direction of where I was walking. I was relieved because I could see it, but was a bit ticked because it was a two minute walk opposite of the way I was told (from the origination point, in the skyline I could also see the airport, other hotels, and the train station). Once I got back to the airport (keep in mind I am a heavy individual who sweats when exerting more energy than desired), I walked the two minute walk to the hotel. Ow all that separated me from the hotel was a tall wooden fence (about twice my height). I decided to walk around and find the entrance. Lots of walking and finally there is a car entrance with a sign that says: no pedestrian traffic. Great. Well, I ignored the sign and “trafficked” myself past the check ins and ignored security. I was ready to out talk anyone at this point because I just wanted some lunch (it was 3pm, or 15:00, after all) and chill before I tried to get into the Man U match (little known fact: the Brits call games matches). There was one security offices that decided to follow me through the parking lot and into the hotel. It is a nice hotel and I am very relieved. She (security guard lady) stood beside me in line; not behind me, but BESIDE me. Weird.

I looked at her and decided to “wind her up” (or play one of my own jokes). “Hola, me llamo Nataan, e tu?” (that is probably horrible Spanish bit she didn’t seem to mind). She gave me a long look and paused and started to say something and then stopped. She then turned around and walked out the front door. Brilliant…Guinness all around!

I got to the front desk, checked in and made my way to the room. Ah, the room. Down comforters and much more space…wonderful. And television! Oh how I have missed flipping through channels. Sure, there are only 14 channels, and two of the are black screen with bad music, but it’s real television. I got a bit situated and relaxed for about a half hour and made my way back tot the train station to purchase my metro card (going to downtown, and Eurpoe is all about some public transportation). It only cost me about 3quid for a round trip to downtown and I was off.

Now, downtown Manchester is quite eclectic. And the football games are quite impressive on the outside, for that is the only experience I got to have. 70K+ people were at this game versus Middlebrough. The fans sang in unison about every two seconds and everyone was pretty toasted drunk and the game hadn’t started yet. I did run into a man named Steve popular British name) who let me know there was no hope in getting near the stadium. There is no parking and people park along all the streets around the stadium (kind of like Bank of America stadium but MUCH worse. The police weren’t letting anyone without a ticket down the same street as the stadium. So I counted my losses and figured I could at least take a tour tomorrow. I decided on another evening plan.

I made my way to Paperwork Centre (beautiful indoor city area with dozens of pubs, restaurants, and clubs, oh, and an IMAX theatre). Manchester is a large English town, almost comparable to London and hundreds of clubs. Everyone was either at the game or dressed in some costume hitting the clubs. I decided to get lunch, finally. I was really craving some comfort food (US food) so I went to this place called Old Orleans in Paperwork. I ordered a diet pepsi and some hot wings. Louise (my server, who wrote her name on the table in crayon) informed me they were out of wings. So I ordered the spicy quesadilla appetizer. Louise informed me that is was pronounced: qwu-si-dilia. I informed her she was wrong and pronounced it correctly. She goes: “you aren’t from the UK, are ye?” I answered: “neither is the quesadilla.” She laughed, thank God. Then she informed me that the chicken and tortillas used for that are 86’ed (or out of stock). So I ordered the potato skins for an appetizer…they did have those. After about five minutes, they arrived…all three of them…three halves with mozzarella cheese and sour cream and a salad (field greens with yellow peppers and mayonnaise on the side. This is not a good side dish to put with potato skins so I ignored them). I then order a Bacon BBQ Cheese Burger and fries, and was so excited. The burger arrived smothered in mayonnaise and some weird pickles that I raked off with my spoon.

After dinner, I went to the IMAX theatre and purchased a ticket for the 300 showing at 7pm (or 19:00). I then went to Starbucks across the street and got a short cappuccino (they are actually the best drinks). I walked outside and looked across the part of the city I was in. I saw the Manchester Church and walked over to see it up close before the show. What I found was odd and quite sad. All along the graveyards and courtyards, “hardcore” or “gothic style” teenagers were gathered. There was probably like 2000 of them. They were sitting together in packs and skateboarding and smoking and being teens, ya know? Then, as I got closer, I noticed what was really happening. Boys were straddling boys and kissing, girls were fondling other girls and kissing, and some hetero couples were HEAVILY making out…all of this on the city church’s grounds and right there in public. People walked by and gave them no attention. It was sad and uncomfortable. These are kids. My heart was really saddened. So I decided to abandon them and go watch my movie (the best thing any pastor from the States should do).

The IMAX 300 experience was amazing. It was a GREAT movie, and even better seeing it on an eight-story screen. After the film, I took the Metro back to Piccadilly and the train back to the airport, and the shuttle back to the hotel, where I am now. I called Shauna and talked for a bit and then it was suddenly midnight.

I plan on going to two churches tomorrow. One is called King’s Church (www.kingschurch-manchester.org) in the morning, and Sanctus1 (www.sanctus1.co.uk) at 8pm (or 20:00). I am sure the blog tomorrow will be especially interesting concerning these churches. I also plan on doing some shopping. And then Monday, I come home; hopefully, with a much better plane ride.
Day five, you were pretty good to me.

travelling diary: day four (grateful for hugh laurie)

Today started very well. Last night, I downloaded a cool app for my Mac book called Aurora. Basically, it is an alarm clock that wakes up my computer and starts itunes and wakes me up at whatever time I designate. Mac world is grand.

So I woke up at 8am and got my shower and went to breakfast. And what a hearty breakfast it was! Toast and dry cereal with no milk…for everyone! Oh, the jolly Brits and their bland food. Sigh.

After breakfast, we had our first session of the day by Isaac An. He is working on his PhD as well and is a very proficient linguist. He knows 11 languages fluently and can communicate in over 20 languages. His lecture was about the creation narrative in Genesis one and two. I wont bore you with the genius detail, but I will say this: the lecture centered around God painting creation as an artist and bringing completion (or shalom) in numerous means, none of which has to do with the semantics of the work of actual creating. It was a very good lecture.

After Isaac, Dr. William Kay (brilliant man) gave a very good talk on historical construction. He talked about how history is usually gathered from our hindsight instead of from the original occasion of faith and the unknown. Again, one hour with William Kay is like taking a 3 hour class over a whole semester in undergrad…he is genius.

We then had a coffee break and William went into detail in dissertation construction. That was quite helpful. After that, he and Andrew talked about professional societies and conferences that would aid our research. At 1pm (or 13:00) the day was done and we went to lunch.

Lunch was a bit odd but quite good. We were given sausages and peas and mashed potatoes…and it was all smothered in a dark brown gravy…mmmm. We also had chocolate cake, which was a pleasant surprise because there hasn’t been any dessert so far. I loved the cake. After lunch I took my camera and took pictures of the campus. I forgot my cable to the computer so I will load them when I return home. I then went to my room and took a 40 minute nap, which was wonderful I had the window open and there was a cool breeze coming through the closet…I mean the room.

At 3pm (or 15:00), I had an appointment with my PhD supervisory committee. I had originally thought my abstract was accepted and that I could start chapter one anytime I so desired. I was so mistaken. So badly mistaken, and while I was prepared to defend parts of my abstract, I wasn’t prepared for the genius conversation I was about to have with William and Andrew. We met for about 2 hours and I was blown away by what they said. They provided me with sources and ideas that really got me excited about my thesis. Long story short, I have some work to do on this abstract to develop it into the application formal for University of Wales and I have to turn it in by June 1. This way, the whole process can be completed and I will start paying the University of Wales as soon as they issue me an ID card. This ID card grants me access to hundreds of thousands of research journals and libraries resources. It’s like an all access pass to nerd-ville, and I am so excited about it. I will have access to the research library in London: that is almost impossible for even a British national to obtain.

Anywho, I killed about an hour and then went to White Swan with Paul, the principal (or president) of Mattersey Hall (where, technically, the theology department for the University of Wales Bangor is located). Paul and I worked briefly together in Concord before I was fired as an intern (long funny story in itself; strangely I am now on staff). We had “the carvery” at White Swan, which is a selection of peppered meats and potatoes and carrots and Northshire pudding (which is basically an elborate title for deep fried batter). It was the best meal I have had since I arrived. Afterwards, Paul and I went back to his house where he made some good tea and watched the Cricket World Cup. Paul and talked about the PhD process and how my next four years would be hard work but incredible results both professionally and personally He is a great encouragement. He also explained cricket to me, and it is quite interesting to watch. Australia killed New Zealand tonight by like 225 runs.

Paul’s wife called (she is in the States at the moment), and I excused myself and walked back to campus. All in all, my time here hasn’t been bad, and I have learned a great deal that will help me with my dissertation. I do indeed feel well equipped.

That being said, I will never travel here to the English countryside without Shauna again. Furthermore, I will never stay on campus more than needed ever again. Also, I am sooooo glad I brought House Season Two with me. With no phone, no television, and limited internet in my room, the dvd player has been well utilized to unwind and chill out. Thanks, Hugh Laurie.
And day four comes to a close. I leave for Manchester tomorrow. And as the people around me all day long have been saying, cheers!

travelling diary: day three (life is looking better)

I woke up around midnight…couldn’t sleep. I worked on my abstract a bit and looked over a couple budgets. Bored and cant go to sleep. Maybe I napped too much. So I put in House: season two. I watched the episode of the wife who poisoned her husband with gold…good episode. After that, I read a bit and finally went to sleep around 230am (or 2:30).

I slept pretty much the entire night after that. I woke up around 9am and got a shower. I met Steve, the maintenance man who told me to ask him if I had any issues I could speak with him. I let him know the WiFi wasn’t working and he told me he couldn’t help me. Oh well. I went to the little common kitchen on my floor. I had “Tasty Flakes”, or for us Americans, “Frosted Flakes.” They were tasty, though. I took my laptop and was determined to find a cable or hot spot. I went to the library where I used an ancient beast of a machine that was at one time a computer, and logged on. I went to check my email and the version of IE on that machine didn’t support my remote email browser. Hmm, then I went to vtext.com and texted Shauna to let her know I was still alive and that the countryside of England isn’t offering much WiFi. I finished up and took my laptop to Andrew’s office (he is the head of graduate studies, by the way). He was in a meeting so I sat down at the empty receptionist’s desk. It just so happens that there was an Ethernet cable hanging out of the wall…I wonder…Praise to the Lord the Almighty our blessed Redeemer…we have internet through a cable.

So I instantly checked email and called Shauna…woke her up I think. It didn’t matter. Oh my goodness it was so good to hear her voice. It was borderline emotional for me…of course, she was crying and relieved. I had survived the peril of the trans-atlantic children’s production and the English rails. We talked for about 8 minutes and I let her go because I had to go to a session. But it was the best to talk to her…going home and seeing her is going to be so great.

So I went to the first session in my PhD seminar and had lunch as well. It wasn’t a bad lunch, either. Poached chiken and mashed sweet potatoes…it was very good. Oh, and a salad with “salad cream” (or salad dressing). I met Nana (like banana but without the ba and saying it like nah-nah…not like the redneck alternative: nan-neh). He is a Ghanian pastor in London. I also met Gabriel, who is from Ghana as well. These guys were really cool and the most kind of the fellow students I have met so far. Everyone else doesn’t talk to me much because I am new, and that’s ok. I also met Anna, the librarian but also in the PhD program. She hates tradition and reminds me of the lady in “Annie” (ya know, the lady who had the orphanage…Carol Burnett). She is nice and interesting…more sarcastic than me, and very intelligent. It was a good lunch. Andrew came by the table and informed me he called his support folks and they were altering the software so that up to date Macs can access the network. That was good news.

The sessions continued into the afternoon. From dissertation creation and applications to the University of Wales’ resources, it is all a lot to take in. I basically have access to all of Eurpoean research through the University of Wales: journals, other dissertations, etc. We sat through a “mock” Viva (oral defense of a dissertation): it was brutal. My new friend, Anne, was chosen to defend her dissertation. She seemed to be very defensive, but did quite well. The sessions throughout the afternoon and through dinner were quite helpful, except for the last one. It is 8:30pm (or 20:30) and I am sitting here listening to a horribly boring lecture on Old Testament Missional Covenant. Oh my God this British guy keeps reading his notes and not looking up…it’s more like a reading than a lecture, and there is no interaction.

When I get back to the room I will call Shauna again (wonderfulness…yes, that is a word) and watch House or something else. Some folks are going to a pub, I think. I may go and hang out. The picture taken today is me in my room. It is such a small and sad little dorm room. Thank God I now have internet access across campus and can feel connected to home. It was a much better day.

Oh, one more thing: I am going to a Man U football game on Saturday. Jealous?
And day three comes to a close…

travelling diary: day two (jet lag and train rides)

They had just served breakfast and she was vomiting. This little kid was vomiting in a bag and doing so very loudly. We are 40 minutes from touchdown and she is sick NOW. The flight attendants are checking seat belts and tray tables and doing a great job of ignoring the heaving of the eight year old into the bag. Me, not so much. All of a sudden, the Latino attendant, who doesn’t like me, takes it upon herself to sit my seat in the upright position. The only thing is, it is already in the upright position. See, I am a large man, and the seat leans back because if the weight. All joking aside, this is reality. She then looks at me and say: “Quit pushing back on the seat. You have to sit it up.” I say ok, and I sit all the way forward so she can “do her job.” She leaves and another attendant comes and does the same thing. I politely inform her that this has already happened and I cant help that my seat sits back a bit further than everyone else’s. She then informs me: “Sir, we already know that you are not working well with us, please just let me do my job.” Third time.

We landed in Manchester and all the kids start clapping loudly and screaming for joy, even the sickly one. We deplane and I hit the bathroom to freshen up (deodorant, brushing my teeth, etc.). We all go through customs and claim our bags. Hallelujah, my bag made it England. I proceed to the ATM to pull out British pounds and then make my way to the train station. After about a mile, I get to the train station and try to pull up my ticket. Not happening. See, I purchased the ticket about two months ago and there is like a “will call” electronic retrieval process. So I go to the ticketing agent and she informs me that my ticket that I purchased is not god for today, but my return ticket will be okay. So now, I have to purchase a single one way ticket to Retford, and it ends up costing me about twenty pounds ($40). The British rail system is a work of art. I am noticing that the Europeans pretty much simplify everything. I haven’t been in the UK (other than flying through) since I was 16. The train ride was methodic and boring but efficient and didn’t waste any time. I changed trains in Leeds and was on my way to Retford. We arrived in Retford around 1pm (or 1300). Andrew was picking me up but he didn’t arrive until 1:30pm, because that is when I told him the train would arrive. Little did I know the trains change schedules over two months. So I waited in the cold for a half hour and Andrew picked me up. We made our way to Mattersey and chatted a while about what the weekend would look like. We arrived and he gave me a brief tour of the campus…basically, it is about four buildings. There is a pub around the corner. Andrew showed me my small room, literally about 10 feet by 8 feet. With a bed and a sink. I unpacked and was so excited to get online and call Shauna. I opened my Mac book, still not broken, and connected to their WiFi here on campus and…nothing. I have no internet and therefore no way to contact Shauna or hear her voice.

I worked for about 2 hours trying to get it working…no avail. I took a nap and went to the pub around 5pm (or 17:00). I walked in and they informed me they would start dinner around 6pm (or 18:00). So, I walked back to the room and got a shower and tried to get the internet working again…nothing. I am really depressed right now. I cant do anything but write and study and watch DVDs I brought…I want to talk to Shauna so bad and am cursing this trip.
I went back to the pub at 6pm and ordered dinner. I wasn’t very good but I told them it was and they were very kind to me. I took a walk after dinner and the countryside here is gorgeous. I will take pictures tomorrow. I went back to my room, worked on the internet again and got nowhere…cursed this stupid trip because I am lonely and I miss Shauna and she should be with me at all times…I really miss her. I cant even tell her that I have no internet and she is probably worried about me…big sigh.

I put in the Simpsons season eight DVD and fell asleep. Around 10pm, I got up and journaled the day. Oh God, help me through tomorrow.

travelling diary: day one

PhD Travel Experience: Day One

I left the house and got a shot for Kenya because, for some odd reason, it was only free until the 20th of April. I left there and went to Best Buy and purchased a set of noise canceling headphones that can connect to the airplane jack; so, instead of paying $5 for the airline headset, I paid $50. I hurried from there and got Shauna from UNCC and we rode, in sadness, to the airport. We got out of the car, exchanged a little longer hug and kiss than normal and I left. I hated leaving.

I got in the international US Airways line and an elderly couple started chatting with me. They were going to Spain and wanted to talk about how long the line was, but the line was actually not long at all. They don’t fly much, I think. They were in front of me and were called pretty soon, so the chat ended prematurely, for them at least. (I am mean) I got to the agent and gave the passport and was denied an upgrade to first class (dang). I went to the security line and disrobed except for my shirt, pants, underwear, and socks; it is so dignified. Don’t get me wrong; I am grateful for the security and the caution, but an overweight guy putting his belt back on in public is just not a great sight, especially for the children. I felt like parents were using me as an example for their kids: “See, Carmen, if you get fat you’ll be like that guy.” Humiliating. Not to mention that after all metallic substances were removed from my body, I got the astute pleasure of being personally searched by Ramon. Ramon likes his job with the security company. He had me raise my arms to shoulder height and face opposite of him. How uncomfortable is that? Then, he slowly and dramatically put on plastic rubber-like gloves, and I couldn’t face him or put down my arms. He actually told me to raise my arms again and reminded me that to intimidate or refuse to cooperate were terrorist actions according to their policy. Wow. How comforting. So as he stretched the gloves over his swollen hands, he commenced the search: each leg up to the “crotchal” region, my belly, my belly, my belly, my armpits, and my neck…yes, Ramon searched my neck. I was wearing a t-shirt and a button down shirt, and he decided to rub down my neck. One of us needed a cigarette after that.

I put my clothes back on, in public, and gathered all the items and repacked my carry-on. Oh yeah, and I dropped my Mac book, there in front of everyone. Wonderful. I proceeded to the newspaper place and made some of my favorite purchases: a USA Today, a Best Life magazine, and a box of BOLD Tic Tacs. I don’t know why, but I absolutely love the little stores in airports where you can buy any magazine imaginable. I love looking at all the magazines and seeing which ones I want. I love standing close to middle-aged men wearing their wedding rings as they peruse the porn section there in public. It fascinates me that they have the courage to let everyone in the store know that they want something they aren’t getting at home. Maybe it’s mean, ok, it’s definitely mean; but I love asking them what would happen if their wives would catch them. I put this in plural form because I asked four men this question. The most common answer was a nervous laugh, but one guy answered the question amazingly. He said, “well, my wife doesn’t travel so this is my time for me.” How appropriate, huh? It’s astounding that he can separate his life into quadrants of preference depending on geography and he doesn’t mess it up. I so don’t get that. I would mess it up. I am wired so differently, but this guy is a sociological study all his own.

I left the news store place and proceeded to grab a bite for lunch from the esteemed California Pizza Kitchen. I got one of my favorite dishes, the BBQ Chicken pizza. I sat and ate alone, something I better get used to doing over the next week. I watched ESPN and listened to the children who were around me. I was sitting in Concourse B’s Taste of Carolina bar area watching ESPN and listening to this guy’s two kids. He was on his second beer by the time I was finished and his kids were loving the bar atmosphere. I mean, what kid wouldn’t? They ran around a few stools and screamed. Finishing my pizza I meandered to B9 to catch my connection through Philadelphia.

Upon arrival to B9, I noticed that the flight leaving B9 is now headed to Hartford, CN. I asked where my new gate was and made my way to B16 and found a seat. I love watching people at the gate. It is so funny to see some people freak out if they don’t call for boarding immediately when they get there. I usually sit in the comfy seat as long as I can before boarding, especially since there were no upgrades available. My elderly friends spotted me again, for they were also connecting through Philadelphia. Then I did something mean, I lowered my gaze as to avoid eye contact with them as they waved at me. They were quite goofy, waiving across five rows of pleather seats as they stood to be the first in line for their zone 9 seats. I finally realized what a jerk I was being and made eye contact and waived back, and then, oh no, they start coming over to me. Great…I had to wave back. They seemed really happy, and why would they be? It’s very simple, they were able to upgrade to business class with their miles. Their miles?? Yes, their 25,000 introductory miles they used when they signed up for a Visa card with their agent at ticketing. They got to use those and upgrade, and just happened to take the last two upgrades available. It doesn’t matter that I have more miles, and that I am large and business/first class is so much more comfortable. But I just smiled and really tried to act happy for them. Our conversation ended because first and business class got their call from the megaphone of glory.

As I sat there in Charlotte, watching people board, I wondered why I was going to England for this PhD in the first place. Honestly, I am not looking forward to this trip and I am not motivated at all to contribute something original to the world of knowledge. I just want my ipod to make it until I can charge it again. Oh well, last boarding call; and I might as well go find my seat on the aluminum tube of death (as affectionately named by Al Franken).

Thank God I at least remembered to book an aisle seat. Coach on this flight was separated into two rows of three on each side. I had seat 13D, and as of right now, no one else is sitting in row 13. The captain, the dramatic safety video, and we’re taxiing. Oh my Lord, I have a whole row to myself. Oh the small miracles that bless so much. The ride to Philadelphia was quite good. After all, I had my USA Today and my magazine, and I am pretty sure that the US Airways magazine has some sodoku in it. I didn’t bust out the ipod after all.

Philadelphia is a pretty ugly place from the sky. Refineries and shipyards and smog are the highlights in this afternoon landing. The skyscrapers are pretty, but not as expansive as Houston or Atlanta. New York and LA are just ridiculous and I don’t judge on that curve anymore, it just isn’t fair. We taxied quite quickly to our destination and were walking up the jetway. I found my next flight, a whole two terminals away (from C to A). I made my way across about a half mile of concrete and shops and found the dead center of the Philly airport. Huge windows and rocking chairs adorned the center, so I plopped down in a rocking chair and broke out my Mac book, which didn’t break, by the way, and did some work. I had three hours until my flight to Manchester boarded, so I took advantage of the time and answered emails and did important stuff like check my fantasy baseball and facebook. No one every leaves me messages on facebook unless it is something like a group invite, and I have made a resolution to ignore all group invites until May. I don’t know why, but that’s what I decided.

Around 6pm, I went to TGI Fridays and had a spicy chicken dish and a salad. My server was aggravated that I was placed at his table. Oh well, I tip well so I hope his night got better. Again, I watched ESPN and ate alone. After I paid for my meal, I made my way to Terminal A and found a plug in and charged my Mac book and read another chapter from Rob Bell’s new book, Sex God (great book so far). As I read, about seven children started playing tag around all the seats, and they all had strong British accents: their accents were so strong, it was impossible to discern what they were saying. I could have led them in a performance of Oliver! right there (I told you I am mean). We boarded and I asked God to place these grunting lovely children far from me. The last thing anyone really wants is to be on a trans-atlantic flight with children playing tag all around you, especially an overnight flight. And again, there isn’t an upgrade available, but they have my name and will let me know.

I found my seat and stood and watched. I was alone again! A full four seats this time! I am really getting ready to shout God’s goodness when…a family keeps eyeing the seat next to mine. Yes, it is happening, but it isn’t as bad as it could be, for only the seat beside me is being taken and it is a junior high boy who is very thin. This could be ok, he could take two seats and I could take-oh crap. You guessed it, every single kid and family on this flight made their jovial way and sit all around me: the same kids. Now, each of them has a piece of memorabilia from their holiday in the States. All of the boys have play swords, which is odd to me because swords/planes don’t seem to fit, and al of the girls have Playboy Bunny velvet pillows…oversized Playboy Bunny logo pillows. All of these girls are like eight or nine years old. Time is just coming to a stand still and it’s like I am hovering over them watching them and the Captain comes over the speaker and says something. Then, all of the children start singing this song:
Oh I want to go, oh I want to go
To Disney World, to Disney World,
And raise my arms, and raise my arms,
And sing this song, and sing this song,

Oh I want to go, oh I want to go,
To Disney World, to Disney World,
And spend all day, and spend all day,
And sing this song, and sing this song.

Sing this over and over with a thick British accent as loud as you can and as long as you can and as high pitched as you can and you will be able to see what I dealt with for 47 minutes. The parents of these children are able to tune this out, and most of the folks on board are polite citizens from the UK so they just smile and endure it. Now, we haven’t taken off yet. I put on my new headphones for the first time and plus it into the armrest to check out the radio channels they have. I notice the parents of these children have purchased a lot of headphones from the airlines and are now passing them out among the children. They plug in and shut up…brilliant. Within five minutes, an attendant touches my arm and I pull off my headset; I am optimistic that there is now an upgrade available. With a very thick Latino accent, she informs me that I cant have electronic devices turned on right now. I smile, and let her know I am just plugged in to the armrest. She looks at me and says: “Look sir, please. Turn it off and be good because we have long flight tonight.” I point to the armrest and tell her I have no electronic device turned on. She physically unplugs my headset and lets me know that she doesn’t want any trouble but I have now been flagged as uncooperative: second time today. I wanted to point at all the children and ask why they get to listen to the music but realize the fight isn’t worth it and is a pretty immature plight. So, I sit in silence and wait until our airbus takes flight. The night is filled with brief periods of sleep and a lot of watching the on demand movies they had available. Before I end day one, I will commend US Airways on their selection of movies and television shows: Rocky Balboa, Gridiron Gang, Stranger Than Fiction, Boston Legal, and The Simpsons to name a few.

Day one ended with an in flight meal of beef brisket and it was actually edible…not good, but edible. I slept maybe a total of two hours over the six hour flight.

Lightshow

One of my favorite methods of entertainment is a good concert – especially if it is accompanied by a good light show. I went to see the Transiberian Orchestra last November – what a light show – lasers – robotic lights – the works. The light makes everything different

• romantic lighting
• party lighting
• depressing lighting
• fluorescent – I HATE THESE

Lighting makes a HUGE difference. Now, keep this in mind as we read this passage of scripture.

Don’t let anyone fool you with empty words. It is these very things which bring down the wrath of God upon the disobedient. Have nothing to do with men like that – once you were “darkness” but now as Christians you are “light.” Live then as children of the light. The light produces in men all that is good and right and true. Let your lives be living proofs of the things which please God. Steer clear of the fruitless activities of darkness; let your lives expose their futility. (You know the sort of things I mean – to detail their secret doings is too shameful to mention.) For light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is even possible for light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also. Thus it is said:

Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall shine upon thee.

You know the truth – let your life show it!
(Ephesians 5:6-14 (PHILLIPS)

Look at that last part: “It is even possible for light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also.”

Light, as we understand it, changed history. With the invention of the light bulb – people worked longer hours. It’s fascinating to think that people actually started their workday when the sun rose, and were asleep shortly after it set. With sunset being 7:45’ish, let’s say they went to bed around 9:30 pm – and with sunrise at 7:00 am’ish, let’s say they would wake up around 6am – that is nine hours of sleep – for some of you, your weekend alone only consists of 9 hours of sleep. Light – changed everything.

What happens when light appears in

• a roach filled house?
• on camera film?
• instantly after a movie?

Light – it exposes – ruins – irritates – but it also lets us live without darkness – we see.

So what does all this have to do with this verse? I think it is all a very deep concept.

You see, in my mind, I am the light guy at a rock show – and I want the light to be perfect for the headliner – ME.
I’m going to shine the light in the best places. But at the show – there is no full exposure. There is no removal of all the darkness – the only darkness removed is from the light show.

Let me break it down more – God isn’t interested in my show. Actually, He probably gets annoyed by my antics – only shining the light in certain places. God/Christ is the light – and if I really give control over – the show is no longer mine – because he exposes the darkness.

“Live as children of the light.” “Let your lives expose the futility of the fruitless activities of darkness.”

Here’s another perspective – what would full light expose in your life – roaches? What would you be shameful of? If light shows up, the roaches will scatter & hide:

• in our emotions
• in our jokes (insecurities)
• in a mask of “rationale”

When full light exposes – the darkness has no place to hide. The problem is that many times we only allow convenient spotlights on “our show” – we use spotlights, we use light shows – they entertain – and paint an easier picture – it’s more enjoyable, really.

Scripture is very direct about “light shows”

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. John 3:20 (NIV)
I am not conscious of anything against myself, and I feel blameless; but I am not vindicated and acquitted before God on that account. It is the Lord [Himself] Who examines and judges me.
So do not make any hasty or premature judgments before the time when the Lord comes [again], for He will both bring to light the secret things that are [now hidden] in darkness and disclose and expose the [secret] aims (motives and purposes) of hearts. Then every man will receive his [due] commendation from God. 1 Corinthians 4:4-5 (Amplified)
Anyone who claims to live in God's light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark. It's the person who loves brother and sister who dwells in God's light and doesn't block the light from others. But whoever hates is still in the dark, stumbles around in the dark, doesn't know which end is up, blinded by the darkness. 1 John 2:9-11 (MSG)
The issue with darkness is that it’s difficult to expose because exposure is uncomfortable. There is a passage of scripture that brings a practical practice to the table:
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. 1 John 1:8-10 (NIV)

This describes spiritual sickness – it causes death (darkness). Confession brings healing, but confession is difficult:
• specific
• black & white definite sin issue
• uncomfortable
The Catholic faith does a very good job of this spiritual practice. Confession is made to an individual – a priest – a person
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:15-16 (NIV)

Confession is one of the most practical ways we allow the light to continue shining in our lives.

Waiting on God

2 Thessalonians 3:5 (NLT).
“May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.”
We (the people who lead and work in this thing strongly desire and daily pray that you will gain a “full understanding and expression of:
1. the Love of God
2. the patient endurance that comes from Christ

In talking about love, this defines it:
I Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
this is the love of God – we experience this through relationship with him and by giving this love through our “mess” of life.

I want to focus on the second thing:
- the patient endurance that comes from Christ.

Let’s take a minute with this term: patient endurance. This term covers a lot of ground. I can think of two ways this term affects me:
1. Instant gratification
2. Waiting on something over time

Instant gratification is basically the definition of culture –
- fast food – automatic doors – internet

Think about your last time on Google – did it take more than 1.2 seconds to get your search results? Did you get frustrated? Do you remember what life was like without search engines?

OK – how about cell phones? More than 5x a day I will call someone and leave a message – I just call again? Again because I want them on the phone NOW – and if no conversation is needed I just text. Do you remember life without a cell phone?

OK – how about the remote control, DVR, TIVO – do you remember how long it used to take to see a movie or VHS after it came out in the theatre? Turn around time is like 4 months now.

Instant gratification is a huge part of life for us here in the U.S. – now, let me read this story – read Genesis 15:1-7;16; Genesis 17:1-13;
Genesis 21:1-6 (MSG)

Abram promise/covenant made: 75 years old
Ishmael born: 84 years old
Isaac born: 99 years old

24-25 years went by until Abraham had a son – we don’t wait this well
– we create Ishmael.

Ishmael – wild bucking bronco, fights with everyone.

When we decide to take life and not wait on God – we produce an Ishmael.

Waiting overtime isn’t what we (or even Abraham) do best – we make things happen.

But as we wait – God is actually doing things in us – he is changing us and getting us ready for the promise – for the Isaac.

(Abram) Abraham –
Genesis 17 - God changed Abram’s name – new identity covenant sign – circumcision – a mark.

God marks you – your obedience.

Genesis 18-19 – God visited Abraham – confirmed the covenant – God destroyed Sodom and spared Lot.

Genesis 20 – Abraham lied to Abimelech out of fear – God taught Abraham courage.

While we WAIT – we grow – we experience – we get prepared for the promise. We get our identity we get marked by God – we change.

We can’t instantly change – it takes time. This whole process is the definition of 2 Thessalonians 3:5.
“May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.”
“the patient endurance that comes from Christ”

My question is how many “Ishmaels” have been created? How many times do we try and do God’s work for him because we don’t wait on him?
- Relationships (divorce – bad unions)
- Money (debt)
- Career (limbs – we settle instead of actively waiting)
- Sexual fulfillment (pre-marital sex, eroticism)
- Self Pride (always having to do better – not paying your dues)

If you can’t wait – you have a very common problem – you have become your own god – you are the biggest thing in your world – this is our culture – we try and curve it by celebrity good deeds – but the problem is – failure to submit – failure to wait.

What has God promised? What Ishmaels are here tonight? Why keep them around. Israel was promised freedom/prosperity – 400 years later they got it.

Close with a reading of Joshua 21:43-45 (NLT).

“So the LORD gave to Israel all the land he had sworn to give their ancestors, and they took possession of it and settled there. And the LORD gave them rest on every side, just as he had solemnly promised their ancestors. None of their enemies could stand against them, for the LORD helped them conquer all their enemies. Not a single one of all the good promises the LORD had given to the family of Israel was left unfulfilled; everything he had spoken came true.”

intimacy with creation

We have this desire to connect with something. Last week, we defined intimacy with I Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT).
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” I Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
Love and intimacy according to this is different from our culture’s point of view. We then talked about developing intimacy with God –
Now we are going to dive into the conversation of intimacy with creation: romancing a person. Can you take your thoughts back to elementary school for a school for a minute – like esp. to Valentine’s Day?

And bam – he’s gonna get rejected. But that attraction – if you’ve ever felt that attraction for anyone, then you have this built in desire to connect with a part of creation – basically, you want a husband/wife/romance/intimacy – Sure, sometimes we juts get lonely – but the attraction is mormal – we are designed to connect intimately with Creation (people), and we ch-ch-choose our intimate relationship.
There is bumpy ride on the way to getting into that relationship – because if we are still going to use scripture as our definition for intimacy – we have some things to hurdle on the way to making that decision; we have several cultural options to weigh:
1. Pornography (dangers that imprint the mind – sight driven) - it is so much easier to have a one-sided relationship - - it masks your intimacy (picture, video, web) – access is no prob – but it really leads to self love – solo sex - feeds the desire for sexual release and can mask fulfillment
Hold this up to I Corinthians 13:4-7
• Not jealous
• Never rude or boastful
• No self-seeking motives
• Not demanding to have him/or her way
• Not irritable
• Doesn’t remember your faults or stupid mistakes
• Always truthful
• Protects you, trusts you, always hopes for your good, and perseveres through conflicts with you
Of course, pornography can keep most of these in tact – it’s not reality! It’s total fantasy – plus, it has no way to love you other than its product.
2. Same Sex Relationships
- This is difficult – because sexually, our culture is accepting of a relationship like this – it’s encouraged even – so when we hold this beside I Corinthians 13 – it seems like it could work. It seems as though it is even validated. But then you have to ask the question of scriptural morality – the question of truth – read verse 6 – when the truth wins out – so what is the truth regarding same sex intimacy regarding the marriage covenant of God (Genesis – one man, one woman) – what doe we really want at this point? To self indulge here would be sin – their intimacy, sexual intimacy; the erotic sexual behavior. Now, you can have intimacy with someone of the same sex, but scripture is clear as to the sin of same sex eroticism.
If a person has a desire for same sex eroticism – then that, according to scripture (Leviticus, Romans, I Corinthians), is sin. However, being intimate with someone doesn’t have to embody that sexual component. But, unless you are called to celibacy, I don’t believe an intimate romantic relationship can be void of that “consummate” act. And the good thing is that this act of sexual fulfillment is fully realized within the context of marriage.
3. Emotional Dependence
We have this stigma in our relationships that tells us our intimate relationships can fulfill our every intimate need. Jerry Maguire quote: You Complete Me
This evokes an “awww” from us, but at its core, I can’t believe this. It may sounds harsh, but my wife doesn’t complete me – I love her, but without her I would still survive. Without my intimacy with God – my existence would be futile. Intimacy with Him – that completes me – that creates me in the first place.
Intimacy – it’s not a place we arrive to, but a lifestyle we practice and strive to realize – most of the time, with a lot of error.
Hold your romantic/intimate relationships up to the mirror of I Corinthians 13:4-7.
• Not jealous
• Never rude or boastful
• No self-seeking motives
• Not demanding to have him/or her way
• Not irritable
• Doesn’t remember your faults or stupid mistakes
• Always truthful
• Protects you, trusts you, always hopes for your good, and perseveres through conflicts with you

intimacy with God

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
Have you ever been loved like this by anyone? This is how God (Paul) defines love. Can you imagine someone…
- Meeting needs with patience? Kindness?
• Not being jealous
• Never boasting and not prideful
• How about someone who doesn’t have self-seeking motives? Or someone who isn’t rude?
• Not demanding to have him/or her way?
• Doesn’t get very irritated
• Doesn’t remember your faults or stupid mistakes
• How about if they refused to be deceitful, and were always truthful with you?
• What if this person protected you, trusted you, always hoped for your good, and persevered through conflicts with you?
According to I Corinthians, this is love. And according to I John 4:8, God is love.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. I John 4:8
This is a snapshot of God’s absolute love. The Greek word for this is agape: not seeking for anything – unconditional love.
Eros: friendship but seeking for something (Freud)
I think it is difficult for us to accept God sometimes because we can’t really relate to this kind of love.


Remember the scene in Anchorman where Ron and his buddies sing "Afternoon Delight"? There ya go – Our culture’s definition for love/intimacy – sex. I mean, it doesn’t come as a shock, right? Intimacy = sex. That’s how you get close to someone, right? If you look up intimacy on Google you get definitions for sexual relationships first and foremost – well, actually the first thing is a bra ad for a new line of Intimacy Bras – “the perfect fit” – and then it goes to sex.
So, I think the problem here is obvious – I Corinthians and Ron Burgandy don’t really make sense when put together – see, here’s the problem with Ron’s definition of love/intimacy: it doesn’t last very long. It’s very instant. In fact, sex itself can’t satisfy the whole person – it definitely affects physical and even mental things – but what about emotions and spiritual and social areas of life – if there is an effect it is very short lived. Also, if we define intimacy with sex then we have a huge problem when it comes to a relationship with God – no, intimacy must be different – maybe that’s why having a relationship with Him is so difficult for us sometimes – we keep seeing what we can get out of it (eros) than just love without agenda (agape).
The beauty of all this, however, is that God fills our eros desire with His agape love.
Intimate love is illustrated beautifully in this clop: Cinderella Man clip. Now, let’s get very practical here: How do I develop intimacy with Him? He already loves me like this – how do I work at loving Him?
1. Be vulnerable when you pray and worship
• He knows you already – so when you talk to Him be real
• Allow your heart to catch up with your actions (obey and serve you song – Mike Rakes)
• He will reveal himself
2. Get to know Him by reading His ridiculously long love
• Notes on windshield as a teen
• Long notes from a girl – letters from Shauna/Cards
• God wants you to know all about Him
•
3. Live life in the fear of God
• Live in submission
• Live in the resting hands of God


God is perfect – we are not. Our relationship when it becomes intimate, will change:
• Our schedules
• Our priorities
• Our hearts
• Our love for others
• Who we are
• Makes us vulnerable
Having an intimate relationship as a long term thing – it’s very deep – and can, at times, be very uncomfortable because you can’t hide when you’re intimate. Do you REALLY want this with God?

Fear of God

Should you not fear me?" declares the LORD. "Should you not tremble in my presence? I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it. Jeremiah 5:22 (NIV)

The Fear of God has been described as several things:
• Deep reverence
• True horror filled emotion
• Obey or die (OT stories)

But, I feel, we have (in our culture) taken the Fear of God to a new level – to a goofy groovy kind of love. What I mean is that we see God not as something to be scared of – I mean, God isn’t here to scare us, right? He’s here to save, love and eat with us. God is love. I Corinthians 13 – the love chapter – I believe our culture has made God made out to be like a crazy grandpa – or like the “Wizard” on the Wizard of Oz.

We travel the “narrow” yellow brick road (gold) road to see Him – to ask for His help – we get to the city with big gates (heaven) where the gatekeeper is goofy – and we are blessed with an audience with the Wizard – all power – scary – big & terrifying – and behind a curtain – really a warm, old man pulling levers – this is our culture’s picture of God – not like the Old Testament
• Burning fire rain on a city
• Ordering death of the innocent because they are in the way
• Plaques in Egypt
• Sending His people to captivity to teach them a lesson

No, we like the NT God (or, at least the one in the Gospels)
• Who sends His son to take our punishment
• Who promises life
• Who seems to be more like “ The Wizard of Oz”

But God hasn’t changed – and we seem to miss that

Check out these verses:

• Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)
• It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Hebrews 10:31 (KJV)
• Fear of the LORD leads to life, bringing security and protection from harm. Proverbs 19:23 (NLT)
• The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. Psalm 19:9 (NIV)
• You must try to appreciate both the kindness and the strict justice of God. Romans 11:22 (Phillips)
• Unfailing love and faithfulness make atonement for sin. By fearing the LORD, people avoid evil. Proverbs 16:6 (NLT)
• Let those who fear the LORD say: “His love endures forever."
Psalm 118:4 (NIV)
• Fear the LORD, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Proverbs 34:9 (NLT)
• Fear of the LORD is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment. Proverbs 9:10 (NLT)

So what’s this “fear of the Lord”?
• Fear used in Jeremiah 5:22 (NIV) “Should you not fear me?" declares the LORD. "Should you not tremble in my presence? I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it. Jeremiah 5:22 (NIV) – the word used in Hebrew is yare (sounds like Yahweh or YHWH) it means reverent fear, terror, or dread.
• Fear used in Matthew 28:4 (NIV) “The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men”.– the Greek word used is phobo – complete fear and terror.
Notice how these words evoke terror? There are several (about 40+) uses of this definition when telling about the fear of God.

So we are to do more than revere him – more than respect – an outright terror?

Why do we want to explain this away? I’ll tell you why – no one likes real fear. When you fear for your life it is uncomfortable – and we shouldn’t feel this way with God.

Jonathan Edwards: Sinners in the hands of an angry God
BAD THEOLOGY

Does our fear for God stem from a fear of disaster?
Does our fear for God stem from a fear of Hell?
Does our fear for God stem from a fear of separation?

No. Our fear of God stems from our complete giving to Him of our entire self.

When you really give yourself to God – it evokes fear. The statement “Lord, I give myself to you” is one of total abandonment. How scary is it to give control of yourself over? We can’t even give control of the remote half the time – bank account – job – education –

You were designed, as a Christ follower, for God’s spirit to transform you – Romans 12:1-2 - give it up – all.

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Romans 12:1-2

You weren’t created to be busy with what you want and desire – but for God.

The fear of God is the beginning of knowledge” – Soloman

To place your life in His hands and to know that you will do what He wants –
• He will sanctify you
• He will cleanse you
• He will make you think differently
• He will cause you to cry for people
• He will make life different

Whatever it costs - that is scary. That yes, we get holiness and full life with Him – but He wants this life in us to “get there” so much He will do whatever it takes. That is scary – we are entering the fear of God, here.

Prayer
• Lose control to God
• Once I give it – I obey and do

discipline

What is the first thing you think about when you hear the word “discipline’? Personally, I go to one particular memory of childhood when my dad spanked Satan himself out of me. Yes, my parents were into spanking - my mom stopped being scary to me about age 9 or 10. But my dad, when he got angry I would fear for my life until I was… 23? The correction/discipline from my dad was rare because he was pretty laid back – but when he had HAD it? It was over.

Discipline is not a term that is very popular here in America – I mean, why is the first part of American Idol so funny? It’s because dumb people think they can sing – what makes them dumb? Singing isn’t a discipline for them – it is a fetish.

I fell that, early in my walk as a Christ follower, discipline is embraced. When I really enter this life and I get about 6 months – year into it, it’s like discipline takes a back seat. The discipline I am talking about is directly related to the holiness topic last week.

Discipline in my pursuit of God
• scripture,
• prayer,
• meditation

Discipline in my choices for life
• character,
• moral choices,
• Lifestyle

Discipline in personal struggles (how I respond to things that happen in life
• death,
• sickness,
• injustice

How we handle life is a direct product of how we live life. Let me illustrate it with a clip from the movie Miracle.

The team had two main issues at first:
1. They didn’t work during the game
2. They were all individuals

1. They didn’t work during the game
- You will be who you prepare yourself to be. If you don’t prepare by working, then you won’t work during the game – ok, I hate working, but if these guys don’t work hard at their skill continually, they will lose it. Their talent isn’t enough.

4-11In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?

My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline,
but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.
In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?

My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline,
but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. 12-13So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
Hebrews 12:4-13 (MSG)

If you sit around lazy with life you don’t become the President – or even the President’s landscaper – the writer of Hebrews illustrated this is verses 12-13. How do you treat your own life – right now – How do you prepare? Where do you want to be? It’s true for life as well as relationship – how do you protect your relationship with God? What disciplines do you currently use in your life?

Here’s a list of more historical disciplines:
2 Categories (Dallas Willard)

Abstinence Engagement
Solitude Study
Silence Worship
Fasting Celebration
Frugality (fasting $$ wants) Service
Chastity Prayer
Secrecy (in our good deeds) Fellowship
Sacrifice (risk – Abraham) Confession
Submission


That’s a big comprehensive list to work with, huh? One thing I can suggest that is very practical is to take that list and practice one discipline from each column every day. You can basically do everything in a week – and repeat.

Unless we practice and discipline our lives, the “game moment” will prove us as failures. I remember one time in college (story of ministering to the lady at Chili’s who had a miscarriage).

2. They were all individuals
Did you notice that the coach finally blew the whistle when one team member recognized what team he was on? You see, you’re on a large team – not by yourself. But, a lot of us fell that our lives with Christ is individual, don’t we? According to this scripture in Hebrews 12, and most of the New Testament, our lives with Christ are to be lived out in community.

“Help each other out” tends to indicate community – much like that team. The name on the front of the uniform is more important than the name on the back. Helping each other is more in tune with what the Creator desires than going into hiding and seclusion.

Challenge:

Take the card and live a discipline from each category this week – start with this tool to grow your discipline and personal holiness.