i haven't written in a while. honestly, i have been lazy in writing lately. there has been so much happening in mine and shauna's lives, too. firstly, we are moving to baltimore. big step. it is a great a cool story of how God is transitioning us to our next step in ministry. maybe i will spell out the process in detail next week.
i am going to try and update this thing a couple times a week with a current thought or struggle or fight i am having with God. i will also be posting the history of our move to baltimore. so, iam gonna pursue and make this blog back to better by committing to that. i will start next week (my last full week at CFA).
my last couple talks in underground are the next two weeks. i will be talking about the things we do for love. the video on this post relates to that.
so i started packing my office up for the move. i have too many books. there is a shelf in my office with books i am leaving. if you want one, come by and get one. the shelf is the far left tier of the bookshelves (beside a bunch of empty shelves)....you cant miss it.
i am a bit sad today with the move becoming more of a reality. it will be ok, though. the people in my life here in concord have always been supportive and loving to us. it is hard leaving that and starting again...just lonely really. all the folks around me hugging me and providing the love is awesome; i just cant get away from the fact that in two weeks it will be over and new hugs from people i dont know will begin. and we will learn to love and grow our network. and it will be good (see God's rant in Genesis).
lastly, i wanna include an email i received an responded to today. it is about a gal in college who is questioning her faith. she is, i believe, a devout follower of christ with doubts. first, her question and then my response. i would love to start a conversation with you readers on this. let me know if you think my answer should be better written...or if i skirted the issue or anything. i love your feedback. ok, here we go...this is kinda like Dear Abby,
(girl's email)
I've been having a lot of faith issues lately to the point that I'm seriously questioning God's existence and/or love. What tells you there is a God? I see amazing things, like the magnitude of creation, the intricacies of the human body, etc. and I know there has to be something bigger. But I feel like prayer does nothing and I'm bombarded on all sides by a more academic perspective that's about knowledge and self-reliance, and I find myself thinking a faith in something we can't "prove" is naive. I don't want to feel this way at all, and I'm not sure where to turn.
(my response...which is longer than it should have been)
i really like what scott larson and chris mitchell have to say about these questions and doubt in their book, a place for skeptics first of all, jesus never shied away from questions...i believe he welcomes them. secondly, it is important to see these questions as more than a single issue. i see (firstly) doubt and (secondly) the subject of God. a word about doubt and belief: 1. belief requires trust. most people believe IN God, but dont believe Him. the Bible says that "we live by faith and not by sight." then it says that "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." in fact, in thinking through these words, i believe that God actually provides us with ways of learning to trust and believe him. while i am seeking every opportunity to avoid the risk of trusting God, he actually gives me opportunities to demonstrate trust (obedience, following, etc.). 2. belief is NOT the absence of doubt. i like the psalms. it uses the word "trust" more than any other book of scripture. the writers yell at God, question God, write goofy poetry to God, and then trust God in their crazy lives. the writers (esp David) almost seem bi-polar. by the very nature of the neurotic psalms, the words reveal that trust is not an absence of doubt or despair. russian author (and Chrisrt follower) fyodor dostoevsky said it this way: " Sometimes the greatest act of faith is in the doubting." in my own life, God is not answering all of my questions or even changing the circumstances, but He is becoming more real to me as i dare to honestly engage Him with all of my doubts, fears and disappointments. 3. belief DEMANDS action i can believe it is good to save money and not go into debt with credit cards. but what do my actions say? if i have a savings account then i validate my beliefs...if i have massive debts then i probably give better advice than i live out. so it is with faith and belief...the very belief i have, if not acted out, turns into weak life philosophy that i celebrate only at certain times and ceremony. sadly, most of the church has come to this way of thinking. Christ's message is much greater than this. he permeates our lives into every facet and makes our actions line up with belief...if we really believe, that is. lastly, if we could reduce our God and faith to a logical proof, then this whole question would be answered: we would then be gods, we would be deity. no, faith and God and this Christ life that we pursue MUST have mystery and awe and wonder. these things are very difficult to come by in our grand SUV american culture. it takes a lot to WOW us. revelation describe the grandeur of Christ when John sees him face to face. if you look at that poetic description, and you study the significance, i believe you would then want to be blown away like that and would then (by any means necessary) approach God and prayer and faith with trembling and worshipful horror. it is this God that welcomes the questions and gives an answer greater than nature. it is our quest of him and the honest and open doubt, response, and faith living that satisfies our hunger. no one will live without doubt, and to do so lacks mature thinking.
ok, so that is the latest post...out with your talons!
-nate
